BY MAE CIMAFRANCA

It is often said that the true meaning of love can’t really be explained, only experienced. But how do really you know whether it’s true love you’re feeling?

Here are 5 love misconceptions to avoid next time you think you’re in love.

1. Love should be equal

Most people believe that for a relationship to work, love should be equal on both sides. If you did something for your significant other, your significant other should do something for you. This quite frankly is very wrong and would only lead to score keeping and disappointment. Why? Because it’s unrealistic to expect an equally measure a response for every gesture of affection.

In reality, love is never fair and square. In most cases, one person is bound to love more and give more than the other.

2. Love is rainbows and butterflies

Anyone who believes love is all rainbows and butterflies is obviously naive. Heck even fairy tales know better with Prince Charming crossing the deepest seas, climbing the steepest mountains, and slaying the deadliest dragons all for the sake of love. Although this might sounds a little too fictive, it actually makes sense.

Often times, sporadic hard choices and sacrifices are made in the name of love. But despite the hardships, there’s really no denying the inspiration and delight love brings about — the reason why love is worth fighting for.

3. Love is destiny

Fate, luck, destiny — call it whatever you want. But, if love is indeed ruled by this, then why do sparks grow dim and feelings fade? Why do breakups and divorce happen? in reality, destiny decides who comes into our lives, but the decision to stay in love depends on you and you alone.

4. Loving means never letting go

This might just be one of the most selfish statements about love. And while it’s only natural to try and hold onto love, sometimes the best and only option is to really just let go. As Indian Guru Osho once said:

If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation”.

So the next time you think of staying with someone who isn’t happy with the relationship anymore, you might want to reconsider whether it’s really love that you feel. True love in itself is not self-seeking. Like flowers, love needs nurturing to thrive and not ownership.

5. Love knows no boundaries

Yes, the Bible says, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”. But this line is often misunderstood. In toxic relationships for example, some people allow themselves to be doormat kings and queens because they believe love should be an unconditional sacrifice. Though we all crave for that unconditional love, we often fail to realize that the scripture also teaches us to love ourselves first.

There’s a faint line between love and stupidity, and if you aren’t mindful enough, you might just end up being the latter.

Love is indeed a complex idea that’s extremely hard to grasp. And perhaps not one person can truly delve into the deepness of its meaning. But as generations pass, we slowly learn its ways, and figure out how to handle its complexities and uncover its mysteries. So when it comes to this beautiful thing called love, do tread carefully instead of diving head first.